December 8, 2015 at 9:36 pm #16115missing_kskdParticipant
Whew! Took 3 years too long. My youngest is finally in his own place, working hard. He still needs a lot from Mrs and I, but that’s OK. He had a couple of very hard breaks recently.
Things I find strange:
– My house is basically in the same state it was before going to sleep.
– Mrs and I looking around, wondering what to do. (and TV / Movies are sucking hard right now)
So, we are looking at the carnage living in a smaller place with a few too many people in it, and have started to clean and organize. It’s “refreshingly depressing” and at the same time, it feels good. Soon, we might actually feel better having that all sorted.
– Animals want a lot more attention from us. I’m not sure we always realize the depth of their thoughts, nor what is “in scope” for their animal life in this world. They miss having the peeps around. The pack got smaller, and that’s cause to connect better and stay strong, happy, etc… I love how pure animals are. The extra need is welcome too. For me personally, having a dog or cat, or some other thing, really care is very special. I feel much better knowing there are things that I matter to, and that they are simple, being to being, there for me, me for them.
– There is a lot of crap that isn’t mine in this house, and I’ve not had a hobby / work area for quite some time. Gonna get rid of it, if they don’t take it. I’ve made the “two months” announcement, and I will be absolutely cold and heartless about this.
Mostly, I’ve stuffed the goodies into a backpack and done a lot on business travel. (which is great, and something I will continue) The idea of just setting up a project and being able to work on it seems a great luxury.
– Quiet. We have some of that now. It feels weird. But, I just got a new stereo, and got a chance to actually listen to it just a day or two ago. I can still hear stuff. Wondered about that. Not all gone yet. 🙂
– Time has slowed a little. Good.
PSA: We are very rough on people with felony criminal convictions. I had no idea how rough. My gut says a little too rough, but also that it’s really hard to tell the real baddies from people who somehow got into a bad place.
My youngest had this happen, and had I the money for a good attorney, I’m sure I could have beat it, but I didn’t have it, and he didn’t listen. Gets what he gets, but he got a lot for what is basically a drunk spat. Nobody involved was harmed, nothing lost, etc… Should have been a different outcome possible. Washington County does not appear to have the time or incentive to even go down that road.
I think they should. With all the crap we have to fund, making sure people have reasonable, prudent and competent representation is something necessary. From what I can tell, public attorneys are very seriously overworked and underpaid. This is wrong.
Housing, jobs, and a lot of things are largely closed to people after this kind of thing has happened. And it’s tough. A significant fraction of those people aren’t good people, or maybe could be good people, but aren’t there yet. The general shunning is understandable. But there is a smaller slice of people who really are harmed by this more than society is helped.
Turns out a lot of the skills I’ve picked up doing what I do for living paid off. I was able to find all the pieces and get him off to a good start. Glad I could do it, but it’s almost like I was convicted too. This burden is not light.
I’ve grown tired of carrying burdens that really aren’t my doing, and I risk getting really bitter. I’m not, but it’s there, and I flirt with it. Hope he listens now, because the choices from here are grim. I have come to realize, there is no going back from where we are now. Mrs and I had that talk. She’s risking bitter too.
Neither one of us like that very much. Long haul, but we made it.
This stage of life is new. Thought I had entered it a little while back, but I had not. Now I know I’m there, or at the least, very highly likely there. What to do now?
I have no idea. Probably going to work on a startup with a friend, do more outdoors stuff with Mrs again, who really needs it. Maybe just take some time and think. Not that I don’t do that now, I do. But it’s nearly always more involved. Actual, down time, just thoughts are a rare thing. That’s weird too.December 9, 2015 at 3:06 am #16124Dxer1969Participant
Sir! That is yet another excellent posting!! The refreshingly depressing comment really hit home. Stuff that wasn’t mine! I can listen to music for awhile myself,whereas before it was mostly impossible. Our youngest moved out in 2006. Shortly before I sold my house. Why did he move out? The wife/his mother through a major temper tantrum at him. His last straw you see. She was a dying diabetic. The sons offence. Not enough bacon on the freaking BLT. Saw the broken plate. Knew bad shit happened! He had a place to go and I moved him the next day. After that, a very weird empty nest. For 4 months. Until her stroke. Then, it was me trying to sell our house and visiting my wife in a nearby nursing home. Problem was,even though she seemed to know me,she couldn’t exactly communicate with me. A tragedy! Cuz ya see, the wife was the mouth of our marriage. And man, did that ever suck big time!
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